Last week while discussing with my friend, Aunty Ameenah, we talked about how our girls have been exposed early to adult life and how many of them are being molested due to no fault of theirs. This reminded me of this wonderful piece written by a very passionate paediatrician, Dr Valentine.
The write up was based on a true life experience that he had and with his permission, it's available on this blog with minimal editing. As parents, we have to be observant and sensitive to everything that concerns our children. I'm sorry if you find the story disturbing but know that the statistics of statutory rape is more disturbing than this story can ever be.
Thanks.
"Sometimes ago, a 3 year - old girl was brought to my attention by the Nursing Sister on my ward. The mother complained of some discharge from girl's genitalia ("bum - bum") which made the Nurse to draw my attention to the swab* test result - also brought by the Mother. At first, I was not keen at seeing because I had closed for the day before this "over - caring" nurse started to trouble me. Good nurses are -"abaniwase baori"** really; so immediately, I asked the nurse to take the result of the swab to a junior doctor who would write out drugs based on the culture result available but she would not let me be, so I obliged.
Its not good to just write drugs for patient without proper examination (a reason why most doctors who had already closed for the daƴ would not want to see a new patient who is just arriving; 1 minute of your time may lead to a whole night of watchful waiting for a come - back effort if the patient suddenly slumps!), so I proceeded to check. It was a gory sight! The discharge coming from this child was offensive and unbelievable. The redness and pains on examining the child's "bum - bum" (vagina wall) was terrific!
There were so many cuts:some fresh, some were healing. The mother bursted into tears and I struggled with mine anyway (I felt liƙe crying but I had to hold the tears before doctor pushes the patient's relative over the highest wall of emotions!)
Obviously, someone or something has been traumatizing this area! Anger and nausea were an understatement for me. A 3 year old girl in a mess of unsolicited sexual assault! This is traumatic.
Did the girl entice her assailant? Did she wear provocative dresses too? Or had too much alcohol?
Rape is a forceful or non consensual sexual contact or penetration of a victim's body with an object or the sexual organ. Penetration might be oral, anal or vaginally. Consent giving is an essential part of sexual relationship while lack of consent, use of threat, deception or coercion constitutes the sole hinge on which rape cases hang.
The media recently has been reporting sexual assaults or sexual abuse story "almost" on a daily basis. No, I am wrong. It is everyday that we read different versions: how a 70 year old man was seduced by a 12 year - old girl? Or how a 54 year old was claiming he had paid the dowry of a 14 year old girl and therefore could impregnate her?
Even school Proprietors/Principals and even Vice Principals. We had thought the 'devil' - that habitual culprit - always "uses" the young school teachers only. Alas we were wrong, our protectors of children have become their tormentors. How does one save the child of an armed robber whose parent teaches pilfering and still claims the sole propriety of his or her wards?
Rape is as common as Malaria nowadays. About 15 - 40% in certain studies in Nigeria. When we are just recovering from Boƙo Haram anɗ still battling the Fulani herdsmen rapes of our women, girls and boys, here rapes intend to destroy our children!
What more can we say? This is because of unmanaged psychiatric illness or aberrant sexual behaviours. Either way, an adult who abuses a child is wicked, insane, afailure and/or a weakling!
Sexual intercourse involving 2 minors without consent, without equality or with coercion is Child - on - Child sexual abuse. In such instance, the older minor tricks or forces the younger minor into cooperation to carry out such acts. Often the older minor has been exposed to sexual activity by an adult or to Pornographic materials carelessly passed on by an adult. That in itself is a form of sexual abuse:when an adult keeps exposing a child to sexual events or activity. You can watch and monitor your maids or child minders again and again if you are looking for that abusive adult. Even some fathers and step fathers! Ha!
If an adult has sexual contact with a minor, it is a statutory rape. Even if the older person claims consent was given by the minor, it is not tenable and it is a criminal offence with jail terms if found guilty.
Children giggling and touching each other while playing may be having age appropriate sexual play that needs proper guidance and check. Normative Sexual play that is age appropriate, is not bad in itself because such children are still exploring their sexual self. They are easily distractable once they are called for errands or taking away from their friends.
Normative sexual play is different from repetitive sexual behaviours like trying to kiss other children with tongue all out while playing or crudely demonstrating adult sexual movements with other children. This calls for caution and further probing. If a child likes to touch other children's genitals or liƙe to watch nude adults or peers, such a child must be evaluated for sexual abuse.
In the long run, a sexually abused child may become more anxious, may avoid the offender who often is a close contact(neighbours, teachers, minders, uncles and aunts), develops poor school performance, depression, poor appetite, poor weight gain, pains in the genitals (Mothers bath your dependant children everyday yourselves while you monitor the grown ups for subtle changes) and suicidal tendencies later on.
Other signs of abuse and consequences are recurrent vaginal discharges in a prepubescent child or young adolescents (urinary tract infections can occur in young girls without sexual abuse especially with poor toilet training and or hygiene practices). Nevertheless, be concerned if your child keeps having stained under wears and genital pains.
Sexual abuse or rape is a cankerworm that can wreck our children's future so parents should become more concerned: if a child refuses to play with previously known and friendly adults or minders; parents should not force their children to hug their relatives or neighbours as these children may not understand inappropriate touch or abuse; parents should not call their children someone else' s wife or husband especially when the person is older. Wait for the child to be a responsible adult and then can decide.
Parents should also monitor what their children watch. Some movies rated 14- or 16- are sexually explicit. Even some cartoons nowadays are not so harmless, they are suggestive. Please be very observant and sensitive. Always listen to your children and pay close attention. If your child does not like someone, there must be a reason for it. Believe your children when they report to you. 
Sexual education like "good and bad touches", "it is not okay for anyone to touch your genitals" and many more age appropriate sex education should be used. We should Stop sexualizing our children too. That make up, that dress that makes your girl child sexier is making a statement! Abeg let these children be children. When they are adults, they can start using makeup.
Before I submit, my patient was being abused allegedly by her female teacher and one other boy. The description the poor toddler gave is too horrific and too concrete to be ignored or written here.....
Hmmmmmmm!
It is time we stopped this RAPE!
TinoMaria.
* Swab test: a microbiological test in which discharging fluiɗ or pus is taking to the lab to determine the cause of the infection and the best antibiotics;
**abaniwase baori: Yoruba name for a job intermediary who helps the jobless to find jobs;
References: Nelson Paediatrics' textbook, Global health action, Rape Wikipaedia.
