Today I want to talk about a topic that I am very passionate about. (This piece is being written together with my children making it a lot easy for me to write. *Wink*, *Laughing* smileys). Thanks to my husband also for the stuffs he gave me on this topic.
I would appreciate it if I can get feedback on this topic and I hope you wouldn't mind if I quote you somewhere. It is in a bid to help people and to help counsellors do their jobs better.
Domestic violence is very common among us. Much commoner than we like to admit. It is seen everywhere in the world. It is however not often reported ( especially here in Africa). There is no typical victim for this crime as it affects all age groups. It is a pattern of abusive behaviour whether physical,emotional, sexual or verbal that occurs among partners (married or unmarried, male or female) or family members ( elderly, children etc).
The only way out is to report it or talk to someone you trust. We all heard about what happened in Lagos, Nigeria where the husband eventually killed the wife. We also watched the online video that went viral about a nanny who physically abused a baby.
The reason why violence of any kind should be reported is because most often than not, the person abusing people is emotionally unstable and is unlikely to change unless he gets help. You would be helping both of you by reporting the violence. Thanks.
Below is a fictional story that depicts what some households go through.
Dalia shook her head in self pity. The image she saw in the mirror was a battered woman. Her face was both blue and black while blood was tripping from the corners of her mouth. All her body ached and to move a muscle was as hard as pushing a trailer. She wanted to cry but she could not. When did things deteriorate this much, she asked herself. Why was Nathaniel treating her this way? He had been very sweet when they had first met. He almost couldn't hurt a fly then. He was so gentle, with kind eyes and sweet words that one couldn't but wonder why his name wasn't Prince Charming.
Nathaniel had changed a little while they were courting, giving her a few slaps once in a while. But he always regretted his actions and usually apologised promising not to do so again. Actually he was under a lot of stress then as he lost his job and was trying to make ends meet. She always forgave him. And she always blamed herself for not being sensitive enough. She was the one triggering his anger with her silly behaviours.
One day, she had thought to surprise him at home by bringing him lunch. He was entertaining some friends and had told her not to come that day. But she was missing him and thought she should cook for him and his guests. Nathaniel had been so furious he poured the whole food on her and did not allow her in. His friends had pleaded with him but he was too angry to listen to them. She ended up getting two slaps before one of his friends took her home. She had promised herself that she wouldn't have anything to do with him again but when he showed up the next day with her favourite strawberry flavoured Tantalizer's ice cream, her heart had melted completely. And then as usual with sweet words he won her back again.
Then they got married. And the marital bliss ended exactly 48 hours after the wedding. They had run into his ex girlfriend at the lobby of the hotel they were staying. He had totally neglected her while catching up on old gist with the girl. She then excused herself to go back to her room. He told her to stay but she felt like a third party and she politely declined to stay. Hours later when he came back to the room, she had received the beating of her life for daring to refuse him in public. Who would she tell? Everyone expected them to be on the moon eating honey and there she was "chopping" cane. She could only pray that he would change.
And that was when it got worse. She had become more prayerful. Turning to God to solve her problem, her husband saw it as persecution of some sort. Today he beat her because she mentioned his name in her prayers. She must not continue to live like this. Her best friend had told her to leave the marriage but she was afraid of what people would say. The marriage was less than two years old. Her mother had always told her that one had to be patient when dealing with husbands. Her pastors had preached against divorce. What was she to do? Would she have to die like this? If only he hadn't knocked out her pregnancy. At least she would have had something to give her joy.
Then she straightened up to wash her face in the sink but she couldn't support her weight on her feet. She fell in a crumbled mess and welcomed the darkness that enveloped her.............
References
www.webmd.com.
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/domesticviolence.html
Intimate partner violence byDonna Cherniak MD et alPhoto credits: Google.
Lovely and educating story... Weldone 💪
ReplyDeleteThank you.
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